My body could not decide whether it wanted to have a good day or not. It gave me a couple of really nice hours today, a few decent ones, and quite a few crummy ones.
My spirits were kind of weird today as well. I felt downright depressed this morning--that kind of depressed that had me in tears early on. I won't dwell on that piece of the day--just acknowledging that I started the day feeling quite blue and sad.
Family came over around 11am and we visited and played at the house for a bit and then we all headed over to Settler's Park for soccer, frisbee, playground, and pizza. I felt well enough to go with them and was so glad I did. The weather was gorgeous, the company perfect, and my body gave me a break from the blechiness long enough to sit on the grass and have a very nice time.
I felt decent from 2pm-3:30pm and then tanked for a few hours. We were back to decent from 7:30pm on and optimistic that the night will be good.
Why do I feel so yucky sometimes and decent at others? Why is it so unpredictable and weird?
Is it the chemo? Is it the cancer? Is it all of the medications? Is it the fact that I don't eat much because I feel so yucky so then I have no energy? It's probably all of the above. Whatever is it, it is.
I hope I don't sound whiny and negative--just keepin' it real.
Dearest Michelle- I just heard your news and have been pouring through your blog tonight. I really love you- you are such a genuine, wonderful, inspiring person and I'm just so thankful Ive had chances to be near you. You leave everybody better than you found them. I will be praying for you and loving you- and wishing chemo wasn't so awful. Take good care. Love always Hillary Collette and family xoxox
ReplyDeleteGlad you got to go to the park with those special people. How do I get my hands on one of those shirts? Hoping you have a good night.
ReplyDeleteThose are some adorable pictures!!
ReplyDeleteThose are some adorable pictures!!
ReplyDeleteThose are some adorable pictures!!
ReplyDeleteLove seeing these pictures, I can't believe how much everything has changed since my family moved! Praying for you and your family!! You are such a great role model to me!
ReplyDeletemichelle. I was given some very expensive anti nausea pills, that really helped but do not remember the name. also I created possibilities for myself, like I have no side effects from chemo. I have no pain. For the last several days I have been creating possibilies for you. the possibility was that you would not have the yuccies and that you would feel well enough to spend time with your family. this is how it is done. I create the possibility that out of all the possibilities that exist that ???????? and I do it in the now. because when the possibility comes about it is in the now. the tense of the verb is very important. never put it in the future, always in the present. I do this on a daily level and it works sooooooooooooooo well. I have taught others how to do it and it really helps with how their day turns out. then at the end of the day you can give thanks for all the things that were created. its a win, win.
ReplyDeletelove julie
Michelle, I am so glad that you've created this blog. Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us. You are in all of our prayers and you should know that you have made such an impact for good in so many lives. We are grateful for your friendship and are on your side :) Please, allow me to help you in any way you need. I would love to come visit you, give you rides if you need, etc.
ReplyDeletewith love,
Barb Webb 407-9979
Michelle-
ReplyDeleteThanks for keeping this blog. Its been really inspiring and enlightening to read. My family fasted for you last Sunday and you have been in my thoughts and prayers ever since I heard your news. Im so sorry you are going through this but know that you will do it gracefully and touch many hearts as you share your experiences and testimony that is such a big part of who you are.
Xoxo missy collette giles